yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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