i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
