I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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