guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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