belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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