He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
