No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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