some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
