Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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