You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
