You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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