My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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