Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
