if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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