found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
