I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
