I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
