dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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