is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
