You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
