it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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