Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize