May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
