He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
