ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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