I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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