Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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