How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
