im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
