It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
