I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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