put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
