I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
