I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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