My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize