Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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