Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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