I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
