he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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