I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
