I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ugly people sure do ruin things
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
