how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
