the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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