Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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