Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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