I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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