The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
how does that bad decision feel?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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