put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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