you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
