you guys were way drunker than both of me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
