5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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