My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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