Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize