I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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