things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
