i barfeds in our rink
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
