She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
